Cultures Writing: Eclectic Shock: Chapter 1

‘My father was supportive but critical, it’s probably the best way to say it. He had no experience in the field, he was an attorney, an entertainer to him seemed so far -fetched in any way, he did buy me a bass, but he was critical. I remember we had just won a Grammy award for our video Here We Go Again, which is the one where we are dancing on treadmills and up until that moment he was asking me ’have you started thinking about what you are going to do now?’ I remember a week or two after we won that award, which he was very proud of, delighted in fact, he sent me an article in the New York Times about the decline of the recording industry and it might be time to start thinking about getting out of this! I was like ‘Aww God what do I have to do?’ When something good happened he was pleased, he was just an overly protective father – in some ways that gave me a lot to fight against. It’s very hard to make money in the music business, there was a lot of ‘I’m glad you’re doing it, I don’t know if you can do it’ I was probably going, ‘well I can’t do this but this character can, I can play this part I can play this character that’s a little bit larger than, at least, my life.’

What do we have to do to prove that we’ve made it! This may sound familiar to many of us, family can be the toughest critics but let’s not be too hard on our parents, they try to do their best, but the poet Philip Larkin made no bones about the influence that parents have on us, a little harshly perhaps ‘They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had. And add some extra, just for you’.

Back to Tim Nordwind, how did his relationship with his father affect him?

‘I felt really lost at one point, I know it was around 30 years old, right after some good things had happened to the band and the videos had started taking off. I got home from that, form two and half years of really running around the world, with very little time to enjoy what was going on, by the time I got home I was so far past, we should have celebrated when they were happening, I remember getting home and thinking ‘what a crazy two and a half years, I’m not exactly sure what just happened’ and not feeling as happy as I thought I should feel, even though most of  my teenage dreams had come true. I definitely went into a bit of a depression I think. At the time when you’d think I should be at my happiest, I felt a little lost. I feel ok talking about it now because it was a while ago, but I remember at the time thinking ‘I can’t tell anyone this, everyone will think I’m such an asshole’